EMOTIONAL ABUSE VICTIMIZATION
by Gayla Reiter
Susan, a 36 year old mother of 2 spoke in the first session of her unwanted behavior, "I always back-down. I never speak up. It's now affecting my children. All my life I was put down by my mother , and for the past twelve years, my husband".
Susan came in as a result of an "open-minded" Psychologist who after working with her for about 6 months, and who sensing her frustration suggested (quietly), "Maybe this issue followed you from a past-life".
It was in our 6th session that she went to the cause (emotionally), "I'm being hung!! I didn't do it. They don't believe me".
Taking her out of the emotion of it (for this session) I directed her to observe the situation from above. I instructed her to go to the beginning of this event.
Susan, as a boy in that lifetime, (1700's) worked in a trading post. Late one night fixing shelves, his boss, the owner, is looking for something. Not finding it accuses the boy (we couldn't get a name) of stealing. The boy becomes very scared. Tries to speak up, but because the owner pushes him up against a post and has his hands around his throat , the boy can't find his voice. He tries to break free. Manages to find shovel and smashes it against owner's head which releases the grip on his throat. Boy runs away only to be caught within the hour.
Terror enters the mind when told they are going to hang him unless he returns what he stole. Keeps repeating "I didn't do it. I didn't do it. I didn't do it." Even though he keeps repeating it he is not believed. Directed to go to the death I asked him to say out load his last thoughts of that lifetime. "I am going to make sure this never happens to me again." When asked how, he said, "By holding onto the terror."
My question, "What does the terror provide for you? His answer, "I feel scared, all of a sudden, the scared reminds me that I am not going to get anywhere. So I stay quiet and avoid as much as possible. Therefore it became a protective defense.
The triggering event in this lifetime to bring that up was the first memory of being "accused" by mom.
It required 4 more sessions before she/he went through the emotionality of the situation, and to deplete the energy.
Between that lifetime and the present one we explored a lifetime in which she subjected herself to victimization. We are continuing to re-frame that one.
However, about a month later (according to Susan without her realization at the time) she confronted the mother of a child who was verbally abusing her daughter on the school bus. Also, with her realization, she, in mixed company, suggested strongly to her husband when he started to "put her down" , that he stop. Since then and now she continues to remind him sometimes gently and sometimes not so gently that she has changed.